❤FASSY; me❤

1/1/11 ❤

2011-01-01T22:02:00.016+08:00

Farewell to 2010 & hello 2011 . Today is 1/1/11 , which is the first day of January & welcome to the start of everything new . New memories , new mistakes , new people , new heartaches , new tears , new laughs & new year . So , whatever had happened in 2010 , stays in 2010 . It is the past & now , it is the present . 2011 , bring it on ! 2010 was an amazing time although i had went through many ups & downs . However , this is life . Imperfectly perfect . I would want to give a big thank you to those who loved me , cared & worried for me . You were the sunshine to make me smile & i realized how concerned you people were . As for those who had left me , you showed me that everything cannot last forever . Anyways , im moving on & living my life . Yesterday , the end of 2010 , i had a great time . I went to woodlands & planned to meet up with Amira Ashby . But , she got out a little late & asked me to go ahead . Met up with Fiq Zahari instead at woodlands before heading to yishun as he waited for his friend . Then , he sent me to yishun while he headed else where . Met up with Palat & the rest of Sinmiedo . Made friends with Dolly Nia . Soon , Amira & her friend , Nichole came . Took the train & went to City Hall . It was so crowded & Ree Osbourne tagged along too . Ate at Long John Silver & went to Esplanade . Met up with Aini Kaysiow , Nadirah , Celak Boncet , Mira Kateq , Mankidd & Fiie Astronic . Went off with Dolly Nia , Palat , Mimie , Nadirah & Celak Boncet . Wanted to go home & suddenly got call from mama . Did not go home but instead went to eat at Swensens . Ate fried fish with apricot mayo & banana crumble . Got home about 11pm & watched countdown on television . There were fireworks near my place . Somehow , it was further than my place . It was such a beautiful sight from my window . I hope this year would be awesome .

jathilan kampongan

2010-11-30T17:22:00.002+08:00

east coast park

2010-11-17T12:12:00.001+08:00

i love my grandma so much

2010-11-03T14:05:00.001+08:00

it's been rather quite long ever since i update my blog . well , latest updates is my grandma just passed away on sunday . i cannot believe she left already on that fateful day . my maid wanted to wake her up & shower her but she realized my grandma didnt move or neither breathing . therefore , she panicked & cried & woke all of us up . i tried not to cry . my mama went to call our family doctor to check on my grandma . the saddest day as she was pronounced dead . soon , the doctor left & my family called our relatives to tell the bad news . i went to take a shower & spent time crying in the toilet non-stop . relatives came & police officers came to ensure it wasnt a murder & in order for us to get a death certificate for my grandma . it was such a busy day too . some had to go down to the police station , some had to photocopy the death certificate and some had to buy flowers . i was at home beside my grandma & praying in the room . i tried to stop crying but when other relatives came , they cried & i soon began to cry . i didnt want my grandma to leave yet . i wanted her to try all those delicious foods before she passed away & i want her to see the outside world . also , i want her to know that im very sorry for being naughty when i was younger . i still remembered that she made for me a drink but i was angry at her so i threw the drink infront of her face & she still made for me another cup of drink . i feel so rude & i feel as if im a burden . im sorry if i made you suffer & giving you pain . on the other hand , i wanted to bathe for my grandma but my grandaunt do not allow me as she is afraid i might cry when showering her . i want it to be the first & last time to shower her but i didnt get to fulfill my wish & was quite disappointed with myself . soon , all the close family members had to put flowers around her & kiss her . i wanted to cry again but this time i did manage . i just kissed her forehead . she was soon tied up & we went to the cemetery to bury her . said some prayers & put flowers at her grave . i hope God will give her blessings & i want her to be happy in the afterlife .

with the sinmiedo

2010-10-24T15:30:00.002+08:00

yesterday , went to woodlands to celebrate ira's birthday . went to met up with amira first . so nice of her to treat me an ice cream . she is so sweet & then , frodo came to woodlands too . since palat & his sinmiedo came quite late , we slacked at causeway point . planned to go town with amelynna & amyliaa but palat & his sinmiedo came quite late so i told amelynna & amyliaa to go ahead but at least , i get to meet them real life . went to toilet & saw luci jepon kia .

amira: FAS , NI LUCI .

luci: EYH AKU WEBCAM NGN BDK NI .

fas: *laughing*

luci: AKU TAK TAWUK DHER LAGY TINGGI DARY AKU .

then , we talked & went out from toilet . at last , palat & his sinmiedo reached & we took the cakes & bought stuffs at cold storage . took bus & slacked under one block at woodlands . amira was quite pissed cos of something . end up , she was alright . i was pissed too but i never look pissed like what frodo said . palat & ira so sweet cut the cake together . haha ! went off around 6pm & took pictures with ahkai , amira & frodo . went to causeway point to eat cos i was so hungry ! i ate quite long . it is so difficult for me to finish fish & chips very fast . frodo just swallow the food . he never chew properly . went home around 9pm & frodo sent me back home .

i miss them

2010-10-22T23:12:00.007+08:00

im beginning to miss my best friend so much . how i wish she came to school . she did not come to school for one week but she did call me yesterday . high chance she is changing school . oh my god . i cannot believe that this is happening . to dearest fatin , please dont change school ! remember that time i wanted to change school so badly due to the incident ? i promised i didnt change school so , you musnt ! i know you dont want it to happen but sigh ! well , i still love you & im missing you . talking about yesterday , i was so stress . we had talk about the streaming for next year . im taking art , english , malay , emaths , combines chemistry & biology , combined social studies & geography & literature as my first choice . i hope i could get in . after school , met up with frodo & slacked with him & shafiqah . miss him too . at last , get to meet & he sent me home . was thinking of going home first & go hougang mall with him but due to the haze , my mama dont allow me go out . seriously , he looked very different without his geek specs & he doesnt smoke anymore . so happy for him ! as for today , i was drawing my eyebrow & suddenly , the fire alarm turned on . everyone had to assemble at the church . what the hell ... then , i was quite scared as we had interclass floorball match . many people never come . so sad ! before that , everyone panicked . me & shaf was like OMG ! but had a fun game . during the game mr khalis disturbed me .

mr khalis: EYH KAO LEH GERAK TAK ?

me: TAKOT & TAK TAWUK MAIN . WADEVA LUH .

mr khalis: WADEVA , WADEVA ... EYH KENING STOP IT ! *laughing*

me: HAHA , MERAH HOT . *then, continue with the game*

after the game ...

mr khalis: TAK GUNE UH DYNI .

me: *show the fucked up face* CHIBAI !

shaf: KURANG AJAR SIA !

mr khalis: KORANG TAK TAWUK BALEK KEPE ? *referring to me & shafiqa for not going home*

me: NANTY UH !

afterwards , went to rivervale mall to eat with dewi & natalie . saw haziqah working at macdonalds . her face shy already . saw afifa in her working uniform for the first time too . went home with amirah & she showed me pictures of yuva taking pictures with mr khalis . sat beside shira as i saw her . she went to slack at sengkang with ajay & the rest . i miss her alot & talked about our interesting life & stuff . yet , today was very tiring even though i did not play well in today's match . well , here are the very not glamorous pictures . mr khalis with his STOP IT FACE & at least my eyebrow nicer !

friday night

2010-10-16T19:47:00.000+08:00

no school as it was o-levels marking paper . went out around 5pm to waited for my cousin , kyn at cit hall mrt station . when i was waiting for her at city hall , a lady called sandra stopped me . asked me to become a model . at last , kyn reached & she was in trouble cos her slipper tore . first , went to charles & keith . next , robinsons . at last , ripples . bought a summer slipper & met my aunty . afterwards , got this royca potato chips with caramel & ate at burger king . the aunty that took our order was like a bitch . she totally didnt show us respect . well , like excuse me she purposely acts dumb by adding two cheese in kyn's burger . trying to cheat us & stuffs . after eating , walked to marina square & esplanade . watched some cambodian dance that also got to do with anuman . my aunty & kyn got kinda freaked out when watching it . watched halfway & went to marina bay sands & took some pictures . i cannot afford the things there as it was branded goods . at about 11pm , we took a cab to sent kyn back home .

that lady is back

2010-10-13T12:22:00.006+08:00

hey sweethearts ! im back again . well , i was dead for a moment & my blog went dead too cos i was dead . but , im alive again . well , i had been quite busy with my life . basically, the main reason was because i was lazy to update . at last , i have the "exam over" feeling . hoping to get to sec 3 NA next year . last paper was today which was home economics & i feel like every paper i sat for was difficult . i had headaches and so , i slept during some paper . why should i crack my brains & end up getting wrong answers without marks ? fyi , exams are not a problem . the results are ! latest updates , handphone currently with my mama . she confiscated it cos i got home late . what the fuck ! some guys just dont believe that my handphone got confiscated & they are pissing me off . its like these guys dont understand this sentence " MY HANDPHONE IS CONFISCATED . SORRY ! I CANNOT CONTACT YOU " or should i repeat myself until they understand or are they just morons ? mama even scold me cos there was a guy that called me at 2am & i heard my mama saying " HI . COULD YOU PLEASE DONT DISTURB MY DAUGHTER . SHE NEEDS TO GO TO SCHOOL TOMORROW . GUESS WHAT ? ITS ALREADY 2AM IN THE MORNING . STOP CALLING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT " hangs up & say "STUPID BOYS CALLING . NEVER GO SCHOOL etc ...vulgar , vulgar & more vulgar" gosh . i almost laughed . i wonder who that freak was . i was angry too cos she had to woke me up cos of that call & she scold me . but thank you to those that understand that sentence ! at least some people understand & im happy with that . so , please dont call or message my handphone . there is facebook if you have to tell me important stuffs . im always online . i know you guys have been sending me messages but the handphone isnt with me . how am i suppose to text you back ? i know you feel stupid to wait & that if i didnt reply back youre messages .

racial harmony

2010-07-24T15:59:00.012+08:00

"pictures were taken when we skipped class"

it has been a long time eversince i updated this blog . it seems like it is going to die soon . well , the latest happening was on racial harmony day . that day was so fun ! showered & ate my pancakes for breakfast . then , went to put on some makeup because i feel ugly when im not wearing makeup with baju kebaya . i was at the bus stop and some malay guys were disturbing me . so annoying man but obviously i was ignoring them when they asked number . i called wendy to take the bus with me on that day . when taking the bus , i felt so embarrassed wearing my baju kebaya . oh my god ! so many people were looking at me . i hope i wasnt the only one that was wearing racial harmony costume . then , i saw wendy & sat beside her . luckily , i wasnt the only one wearing racial harmony costume . anna & izza wore too but mine was way to obvious as it was pink . reached school & went in with my indian friends . sadly , fatin , lily & shafiqa did not come to school . i was looking forward to what fatin was wearing . end up , she did not come . first period was malay language . followed dewi to change into her chinese costume . went into class , ahtiqha was wearing indian costume . shafiqah told me to wear indian costume next year & i agreed to it .during english lesson , i used for poonham eye liner & for regina . many of us skipped class without the teacher knowing . we finished all the stuffs that our teacher gave . i went to escaping with regina . some girls from 2B1 also escaped class . we also cam whore in the toilet . stupid ! i forget to bring my camera . used lavanya's camera . then , i helped regina clean her eyeliner which wasnt a good brand . it was so difficult to clean . i have no idea which brand that poonham bought . when going back to the classroom , there was a teacher that walked passed us . we thought she want to scold us for skipping class . in the end , she said that i looked pretty . i panicked . afterwards , it was recess . i spent time with cheryl & natalie . we cam whored at the canteen . tania & sheena took pictures of me too & invited some of my friends that wore racial harmony costume . recess ended & it was science . sat with shafiqah . it was so uncomfortable for me to sit down properly . i didnt care & i crossed my legs . shafiqah saw my legs even though i was wearing songket . at last , i get to sit comfortably . ae time we went to computer lab & it was so fun . i wasnt doing my work . for one hour , i went facebook . chat with natalie & cheryl althought they were beside me . maths time was ridiculous . shafiqah was crying & i wanted to tell her to relaxs . suddenly , miss nadia told me to give her some space . i was like what the hell . i was just telling her to tell me what happened . shafiqah was telling me a few things & miss nadia asked me to go back to my place . shafiqah is my friend . when i wanted to go toilet , i asked miss nadia for permission . randomly , she told me to empty my pockets . i didnt even have pockets in my baju kebaya . its like she doesnt trust me . i got so pissed during maths . at last , maths was over & it was pe . luckily , mr ng never come & i didnt bring my pe attire . imagine if i bought my pe attire & he didnt come . well , there comes bitch from hell ! because i was too lazy to change & lazy to bring . so didnt bother about pe . we waited so long for mr ng as we thought he came at first . followed poonham to the hall & asked mr khalis where mr ng was . haha ! mr khalis was wearing baju kurung with his songket around him & teaching pe . i was like wow ! i was staring at his pimple at the side of his head . poonham was talking to him & he was facing me instead of poonham it was like his talking to me . well , i just then realized that i was staring at his pimple not at him . so i turned & looked at cheryl which was at the downstairs . so sweet of her to show me her heart sign <3 mr khalis said asked us to do anything we want & acted like we never see him . that means we dont need to do pe . how fun is that ! again , cam whored with natalie & cheryl . it was 2.10pm & school ends . however , i had cca & met dashima at the piano area . we went to rivervale mall . i swear my legs do hurt as i was wearing high heels for long hours . i went for cca late & i gave excuse that i went for maths remedial . i was chilling out with dashima . my legs were so painful to even climb the stairs to the second floor . i just didnt bother to go for maths . i almost slept at the canteen . around 3.30pm i went to the fourth floor for cca . i almost fainted . i climbed the stairs bare footed . went into the computer lab . when cca was about to end , i slept for awhile & my saliva dripped on the table . felt disgusted though . got home & laid on the sofa . i felt like a champion when i reached home ! what a miracle . got at my bus stop at 6.05pm & reached home at about 6.25pm . what the hell . i cannot believe my legs were so hurt . poor legs .

Happy Birthday to me !

2010-06-08T14:34:00.001+08:00

at last , i turned 14 years old already . birthday was on 7 june . yesterday , celebrated my birthday with my darling , hakim & my lovable friends , jeszmin , dashima & rosz . i was happy that i have this people in my lives . i miss jeszmin so much & she looks so different . so sweet of jeszmin & dashima . they gave me one big lollipop . then , we ate at long john silver . vivo never change . after that , we took alot of pictures . we were cam whoring . when we were having fun at the vivo top , got this two dudes tried to carry a girl which is so fat . damn funny ! they cannot carry . they acted seriously like kids . soon , went to fetch hakim & he gave me present . i was wondering what he gave me . we went to watch shrek forever after . puss & the babies are so cute ! i laughed quite loud in the cinema . haha ! damn funny but abit sad too . then , sent jeszmin & dashima to the mrt . me & hakim walked around vivo & left at about 6pm . we went to bugis . spent time at bugis & at 7pm , we went to eat at banquet . i didnt finished my food because i was so full . suddenly , hakim asked me what was my reaction when he asked me for stead . i swear i was quite speechless . also , he asked why i accepted him to become my boyfriend . i didnt answer that question but i say not to worry because it is all good reasons . i was too shy to tell him anything . i walked infront of him & kept smiling . haha ! after we went to bugis street , we sat somewhere at bugis there & one aunty came towards us & asking us for money . not just that , she was complaining about a girl & she kept asking me & hakim were couple or what . i just answered he is my cousin . if say couple confirm damn havoc . me & hakim laughed like non stop . pity that aunty . mama called me & i went to met her up at hougang mall . we ate at macdonalds & i saw khai . at the counter , i always wanted to say hi to him but mama was there . then , he mumbled to me something but i cannot hear & i laughed . around , 10pm i went home & checked emails . it was flooded but thanks guys & girls for wishing me ! (: anyways , i also did celebrate my birthday on 5 june with fairuz , farah & mummy . it was like an advance . they treated me at swensens & they got me mudpie & we put candles on it . first time , i had mudpie for my birthday . it was rather quite interesting . after eating , we went to miss whatever & bought for me wallet & a school bag . it was fabulous & i cannot wait to use it . we also ate at jalan kayu . i was so happy & had alot of fun !

2010-06-06T00:23:00.002+08:00

that day , went swimming with shafiqa , dashima , fatin & lily . immediately after remedial , we went to anchorvale swimming complex . we were so excited & cannot wait to swim , it has been such a long time ever since we swim there . on the way there , we were so crazy . what do i say ? girls just want to have fun . anyways , we were misbehaving & dancing . immediately , we change into swimming costume when we reached & played in the pool . so fun ! suddenly , someone said this to shafiqa " eyh my friend like you" what the hell ! from there so havoc . haha ! cannot believe its elfie which is trisha's cousin . if trisha knows about it , bet more chaos . elfie told shafiqa she pretty . cute ! then , elfie act shy . funny like fuck . soon , we change . i took such a long time to bathe because got problem on the phone . so , i told them to meet me at macdonalds . when they went out , i use so many vulgars on the phone . the whole toilet can hear . like as if i care . was fucking pissed . ate at macdonalds & went to compass point to slack . shafiqa went off with elfie while me , lily , dashima & fatin went to orchard . first time i went to orchard with slippers , school pe attire & school bag . unglamorous . many people there wear so appropriate but whatever . dashima lend me her headphones . damn cool man . thanks dashima (: we went home around 5pm . when i just reached home & finished bathing , i received a few miss calls & messages from fatin . she got kicked out . panic & i called her as soon as possible . met her at hougang interchange around 8pm . her mother called my phone too & she talked quite angry to me about fatin . i was quite speechless & her mother asked me where we went & stuffs . around 9pm , fatin went home from my house & i prayed that everything would be fine when she got home . my mother suspected many things like she & mother fight but i said her brother irritated her . at night , received message from her saying something like this "this would be the last time you going to see me . see you in heaven or hell . bye !" i told her not to do anything stupid & to come to school the next day . luckily , she turned up . god ! i thought no need to go for remedial for biology . only attended for chemistry . holidays got school ? what the hell ! then , went for cca & asked fatin to go home . soon , hakim waited for me at the bus stop quite long . we went to compass point . at last , got to meet him . i miss him so much . got home around 5pm .

310510`CHALET with cca

2010-06-02T22:59:00.005+08:00

havent blog about my outting with cca at chalet aloha loyang on 31 may 2010 . anyways , it was great . woke up around 9am because wanted to meet hakim . then , we didnt get to meet . i miss him ! afterwards , went to take bus 89 with cynthia . reach downtown east & ate at burger king . quite expensive but nice . then . walked at the park to the chalet . so tiring & far . i almost fainted halfway . on the way there , me & cynthia chat until we reached there . soon , we put our things at the chalet & played games . so fun & wet ! played water bomb . also , barbecued there & ate alot . after the barbeque , went to play pinata & treasure hunt . during treasure hunt , i was the ghost . after the enjoyment , went home with phriya , anjana , shafiqah , lakshimi & miss lela . we passed the red house & the moon was full & yellow with dark clouds . after phriya & anjana left the bus , i was alone with the bus driver . quite scary . then , mama wait at interchange & reached home around 12am .

2010-05-28T22:21:00.004+08:00

woke up early just now because promised hakim to meet up at hougang mall by 12.30pm but he came around 2pm as he cannot go out before 2pm . before he came , Z was there so we spent time together instead . we went to popular to vandalize our hands by using the markers there . then , went to 5th floor toilet many times & take pictures . we got nothing better to do & girls just want to have fun ! soon , Z had to go home & hakim was reaching . yay ! met up with him 3 days in a row . tomorrow cannot meet him because i need to attend for a wedding & birthday celebration . hope to meet up with him soon because im so going to miss him . we took bus 72 to tampines & meet his friends . bought movie tickets but there was a long queue . afterwards , went to KFC to eat . i was damn hungry & bought zinger meal as usual . its my favorite . then , go toilet to see mirror & do small business . want to do small business in toilet also long queue . soon , went to the cinema to watch Prince Of Persia . in the cinema , i slept mostly during the movie & hakim had to wake me up . so sleepy but the show was great . alot of violence . sometimes , i just wish i can beat up my enemy like in the movie but i wont do that because it will be such a havoc . after that , took the bus and sleep again . i just cannot stop sleeping . reached hougang around 6.30pm & me & hakim slacked at hougang mall playground . suddenly , Z messaged me . she said this " what you doing ? confirm make-out with him . kissing kissing . touch here , touch there . lick here . lick there . " what the hell ! then , cannot stop laughing because i was imagining some stuffs . hakim was begging me to tell him what Z messaged but i dont dare say anything . hakim took bus at my bustop & went home around 7.30pm . today , was so fun :D hakim is such a fun friend to spend time with .

last day of school

2010-05-27T19:58:00.008+08:00

at last , last day of school for semester 1 ! hmm ... but still going to boring as i wont get to meet up with my friends . today , school ended at 12.45pm but i was let off abit late because mr sharizan talked to me about something . then , reached home around 3pm & met up with hakim , harris & puteri at compass point . feel bad for reaching there late . also , met up with dashima & isabelle & followed me to slack for awhile at sengkang with them . we were so tired & when hakim was resting , got one boy went up to him & shake his hand . haha ! he dont even know that boy . what the hell . so many cute kids at sengkang area . damn adorable ! afterwards , we went to compass point & bought cookies . yummy (: saw geraldine with haripriyaa & gave me piercing needle . so , i gave her $2 to buy her poker cards at mini toons . so , took the train to hougang mall & bought drinks . so nice of hakim to help me carry plastic bag because i bring damn unglam . so aunty . he took bus at my bustop & went home . then , now im feeling so tired . haiz but today was great ! maybe im sleeping soon .

2010-05-14T21:07:00.007+08:00

At last , SA1 is over ! so happy ;D i have been so stressed up for the past few days and didn't slept well . just now , was Malay oral & i was so nervous . fatin was like making weird voices when she was practicing oral . she was doing gay voice and stuffs . me & shafiqah wanted to laugh like hell but we try control ourselves . cikgu ain was looking at us & shafiqah turn to another side & did that serious face while i cannot take it as i needed to laugh so i went to close my whole face . soon , it was my turn .

me: selamat pagi cikgu rahmat dan cikgu ain .
cikgu rahmat: fasihah ... awak sudah bersedia?
me: sudah .
cikgu rahmat: ok, awak boleh bermula sekarang .
me: ( started reading 10seconds later ) ...Malayshierrr . ( OMG THAT PART WAS LIKE SO WRONG ! i was so used of the way i usually say Malaysia like Malayshierrr . so slang man that part & i was like whatever & continued reading . cikgu rahmat & cikgu ain was staring at me . )
cikgu rahmat: okay... kami ke perbualan pula . pernahkah kamu ke rumah kawan anda ?
me: ...pernah waktu dia sakit blahblahblah . apabila adiknya sakit pun saya akan menjenguk adiknya .
cikgu rahmat: baik eyh awak melawat adik kawan kamu apabila dia sakit . HEHE .
me: HAHA ( its oral for goodness sake . i know cikgu rahmat knows that it was a made up story cos our teacher always tell us we have to make up any story to gain more marks )
cikgu rahmat: selain pada ke rumah kawan kamu apabila dia sakit, adakah kamu ke rumah kawan kamu apabila dia tidak sakit ?
me: pernah. seperti uhms ..membuat kerja sekolah uhms ..blahblahblah .
cikgu rahmat: okay, apakah benda yang boleh dilakukan di rumah kawan anda dan benda yang tidak boleh dilakukan di rumah kawan anda ?
me: uhms ........ ( looking some where else & i was freaking out . no idea what to say ) di rumah kawan , uhms..kami boleh uhms..membuat kerja sekolah atau uhms..menonton cerita menarik blahblahblah ..
cikgu rahmat: apa pula benda yang tidak boleh dilakukan ?
me: ( i know, we cannot watch porn or do gross stuff & i almost wanted to say that ! ) uhms ..kami tidak boleh ( SILENCE ) aaaaah buat bising kerana akan mengganggu jiran-jiran yang lain dan sepatutnya bersopan-santun . ( STARING at cikgu rahmat & cikgu ain )
cikgu rahmat: tu sahaja, fasihah ?
me: ah ah . tu sahaja yang saya boleh dikatakan . yaa ..tu sahaja ..ok ..TERIMA KASIH CIKGU . BYEBYE ! OMG . ( both teachers looked at me ) i meant YA ALLAH ! ( because have to speak in Malay language . take my bag & escape to the toilet & by myself since there was no one like crazy )
after laughing alone , i went to the canteen & met up with my friends . we all talked about what happened during oral . HAHA ! all funny man their reaction . then , we went to compass point to celebrate our end of SA1 (: FUN ! went to KFC to eat & dashima saw us & joined us . when we were at LRT , we were cracking jokes like shafiqa was imitating the compassvale sec students their shuffle/jumpstyle dance . instead , shafiqa did some kicking dance & some craps . HAHA ! i was like lying down like some bangla construction worker on the floor & my face like not in the wrong because i was singing . so tired until i have to lie down . my singing sucks i guess & people looked . we were playing TRUTH/DARE . dashima had to smell shafiqa's socks & shafiqa was smelling & biting her socks saying it had a nice smell . fatin had to give me an aunty kiss . alot so funny the TRUTH/DARE game but mine was dammit . my dare was to walk around compass point with toilet roll on my ass until someone tells me there is toilet roll on my ass . it look more like a tail . shafiqa., dashima, lily & fatin was like laughing & dashima have the video of it . i was such a freak walking with toilet roll hanging from my skirt . we walked pass the police which wanted to screen us, secondary school students & people but none care . GOSH ! so embarrassing . when going up the escalator , one aunty went up to me and said this " girl ah , whats that ? got tissue " fyi , its not tissue . its called toilet roll . the rest was like laughing because at last someone saw it and told me straight forward . after that , walked around compass point & slacked with geraldine , haripriyaa and the rest at LRT again . i saw shasha kateq in the toliet but didnt call her because scared wrong person . i also slacked with my junior from my primary school , Evangeline & currently schooling at north vista sec . so pretty now & cannot believe she bought a CONDOM ! followed her to watsons . i was like WTF ! i saw my ex-boyfriend . his friends were like " eyh Fas .. FAST & FURIOUS ! " fucker ..make fun of my name . ex-boyfriend and his bunch of NO-PENIS friends were staring at me . then , rolled my eyes and turned away . around 4pm , all of us went home . reached home & iyqah told me that syahiran saw me at compass point . then , he never call me . i cannot recognize how he looks like . suddenly , someone told me irfan cheated during exam . OMG ! why he so stupid . he didnt want to admit ..haiz . now , talking about irfan cheated , my police case havent settle yet . the whole school knows about what happened to me & my friends . where to put my face ? so stressed ! now , i have to go counselling .

2010-04-26T22:21:00.002+08:00

exam is coming ! why must i suffer at this moment ? why must people make me stressed ? i got no hope already and i wish there is always hope for me . is it time for me to leave this world ? i dont know but it seems like its time to go . its time for me to die . you are leaving me too . when i want to study , something always comes up from my mind . it really disturb me alot . i just want the burden to go away soon . it hurts me ! everyday, i go around with my swollen eyes because i cannot stop myself from crying . even when im sitting down and relaxing , my mind is never at ease . before i sleep , i think of what happen and i start crying again . i have feelings too . you dont know how much i suffered . i always believed that without a father, i can live . i know i can live . its alright . its always fine for me not having a father . i know i am weak at this moment and im losing myself . if i were to disappear now , nobody will care right ? i dont want anyone to see me in this condition . no matter what , i will try to be happy and put a smile on my face .

my apology

2010-04-19T18:48:00.008+08:00

i had let down my family, friends, principal, teachers and myself . i had failed to be a good daughter, grand daughter, niece, cousin, friend, student and being a human . sometimes , i wonder if i am a human being or a Satan . but i just got a feeling that i have to stop living . everyone's life would be much more better if i die . today , i was caught by the police for doing something bad . something unexpected . they contacted the school and i was in trouble . i received a booking form for defiance and i had written a report . what happened was so complicated . just like life . life is complicated so am i . i have lost my reputation . not just that , i have disappointed my mother the most. 13years to 14 years . that was how long my mother have took care of me and she fed me . she made me live . however , this is the shit i am going to repay her . the satanism in me made me become this way . i am trying my best to change my attitude . how could i be this heartless ? i always tried to promise that i wont create anymore trouble or hurt anyone . i shamed my loved ones and i have made an innocent mother to get heartbroken . i grew up as a good person but i realized that i have changed . my life have gone worst and everything in me is getting worse like my health and studies . i have no idea what is happening to me . i just want to say sorry to everyone especially to my mother . as to my father , i also want to owe an apology although i have never seen you before . i am sorry to my friends and other family members if i have did anything wrong . also, i am sorry if i destroyed the school's name too . i know it's hard to accept my apology but if you don't want to forgive me, it is alright . i can't even accept myself too as a person . i understand how it feels to have a person like me related to you . but i just want to say thank you if anyone out there have been very nice to me and anyone that can forgive me . maybe no one can forgive me . i am done now . just going end here . i might be under probation . i have no idea what is going to happen next . i admit i was in the wrong for doing such a BIG mistake . bye bye and take care .

Yours sincerely ,
Nurfasihah Binte Abdullah
190410

fatin's bday

2010-04-06T22:17:00.000+08:00

today , was fatin's birthday . chantelle , dewi , shafiqa , shafiqah , lily & me tried to hide many secrets from fatin . like they made her a BIG birthday message board & me & shafiqa said it was last year's art work stuff . it was so crap when i was laughing uncontrollably . then , recess time we asked fatin to buy food first . we having trouble lighting up the candle on the birthday cake . suddenly , it was so hard for me & chantella to find for fatin when we wanted to call her . we went around the whole canteen finding for her . at last , we found her ! thank goodness . chantella carried the plates & i closed fatin's eyes . it was damn funny . many people stare at us . fatin was struggling to open her eyes . i was like bullying her . haha ! sorry darls if i also didnt get anything for you . we sang her a birthday song when she reached the table & she cut the cake . the cake was so freaking GORGEOUS . it was oreo cheese cake . shafiqah have to get well soon as she did'nt get to try the cake because she was kind of sick . after school , me & dashima went to compass point to eat . we ate at KFC . i met up with iqel & salehin for awhile . salehin so mature . his voice really changed and he grew taller . last time , he was so cute and small . now , so BIG already . as for iqel , he so tall . way up there . they went home while me & dashima went around compass point . we chit chat & went home around 4pm . reach home , read magazine & soon fell asleep . i woke up around 7pm & took a bath . was so tired & still have to do homework . anyways . got to go for now . i am so sleepy . GOOD NIGHT !

" happy birthday , fatin ! "

chingay 2010

2010-02-20T23:43:00.001+08:00

yesterday , i went to chingay around 5pm with my cca mates and with two teachers, miss teh and mrs khoo . we need to take pictures and videos for the BIG event . we went there by bus while miss teh went there by her car . we reached there around 6pm . the place was crowded . it was near the singapore flyer . afterwards , we went to the passion pasar . took pictures of cosplayers . not just that , i took pictures with them too . there was this chinese guy that look so hot and fierce and he dressed as one of the japanese anime . also , get to take picture with him . then , took picture with a chinese girl that also dressed in japanese anime costume . she was damn cute . tania used her camera to take the pictures . give many thanks to tania ! there were many interesting things there . there were people dressed as robots for the chingay and there were people walking on high sticks too . soon , we went to popeye to eat . i bought ice lemon tea only . the teachers and natasha gave me their chicken and fries . it was nice of them . then , i wanted to go to the toilet but nobody followed me . i was like some lost kid . i did'nt know where the hell was the toilet . worse still , i almsot went to the guys toilet ! at last , found the ladies toilet . went to do business and met up with the rest after finishing . when we were heading to our location , there were people with pompoms cheering for the chingay and us . it was damn funny . they were like "GO PURPLE PEOPLE!" repeating when we passed them because our cca t-shirt is purple . soon , the chingay started . it was so noisy and crowded . i was halfway deaf . when they burst the fire crackers , me and me , zawani and shafiqah closed our ears and i was damn scared if i might die there . it was so loud that i cannot hear myself and my friends talking . after the fire crackers finished , got many perfomances happening . some were damn cute and funny . me and shirleen were spouting so many nonsense stuffs . haha ! then , i have no idea where was my friend , zai . he said he is going to dance . then , tried calling him after chingay and he did'nt answer . after chingay ended , we went to 7 eleven to buy drinks . we were so thirsty . bought ice lemon tea again . as you can see , i am addicted to ice lemon tea . this part is the best part . we saw taufiq batisah and i got 3 pictures of him with some other people . damn sad because i did'nt get to take picture with him as the security guard said he need to rush some where . like whatever ! i was damn happy that i get to see him in reality . after those fun , went to meet up with everyone outside popeye and we went to take group pictures too . like around 11pm we went home but not fun as we did'nt get to slack . my mama fetched me at mrt staion . then , ate with her at macdonalds and drink ice lemon tea again . my legs were really aching and i will still remember the day when i saw taufiq batisah !

valentine's day

2010-02-15T17:26:00.006+08:00

today , i cried like hell because of my ex . memories kept coming back . i just cannot stop myself from crying in the room and even in the toilet . i don't even know why am i crying for that fucker . i feel so pathetic . maybe i miss those days but my love cannot love him anymore because he broke it . i have given up on him . i also realize it was all for nothing . when i was holding on to him , he let go of me . tell me , how am i suppose to accept this ? how can i stop the pain ? i really want the pain to go away , but i don't know what else to do . i tried to forget about him but it is impossible to forget the one that pretended to love you and did'nt kept his promises . it has been months . this is when i say i had enough of it . life does not hurt until you had time to think abut have things have changed and who you lost along the way . just for the record , my world is falling apart . sometimes , i feel love is like falling down . in the end , im left hurt , scared and i have to take all the burdens . whatever it is , i still have to move on . he is just a chapter in the past . he cannot fix my heart anymore and i regret being with him . somehow i just try to live and breathe and try not to die but i died when he dumped me . everything i gave him has died , been lost or thrown away just like me . im so sick of all the tears and i wish that he can drown in my tears and im so sick of the sorrow . omg , so damn pissed with him . i just want to forget about the past and focus on tomorrow . whatever it is , this year's valentine's day sucks because of him .

my baby girls

2010-01-13T23:15:00.007+08:00

today , immediately after school , i went to compass point with fatin , dewi , shafiqa , chantelle and lily . we wanted to eat at macdonalds but not enought seats so went to kfc and ate there . it was damn fun with them . actually , we were noisy but who cares and we were like insane . then , took pictures at kfc . soon , dewi went off early . afterwards , the five of us went to the lrt place . shafiqa went home early too and was crazy over someone . we called nas and talked cock with him . afterwards , we went to popular to buy files . wasting money ! i almost panic because not enough money to buy the files and finding for lily to pay . tomorrow , must pay her back lke $2 i think . we all went home because my mama called and screamed at me on the phone asking me to go home . took the bus and talked to firdaus . his voice changed suddenly . he sounded much more mature . haha ! then , on the phone with zai too . miss them so much . i reached home around 4pm and slack for awhile then did homework . now , i am so going to sleep . good nights and sweet dreams ! yay . tomorrow school starts later but haiz ... school ends late too .

"my day with girlfriends"

camping ; 3days and 2nights

2010-01-08T21:17:00.024+08:00

today , i just came back from camp at jalan bahtera . so tired . on 6 january 2010 , reached school around 7am . mama sent me to school by taxi . the bag freaking heavy like made me want to fall down . i bought like 3 bags ; clothing bag , random stuffs bag and sleeping bag . met up with my friends and went to hall . i went downstairs to the canteen to find for patonah , erra and fahani . i asked patonah about her and my friend , ashraff . i thought they met up the day before and got into some relationship . soon , i went back to the hall and everyone was so excited . then , need go to the gym . teachers checked our bags and confiscated our stuffs . nothing was confiscated from me . i did'nt bring handphone or wallet . mama kept all my stuffs . teacher like don't believe . whatever . i just gave empty plastic bag with my name on it with -NOTHING- on it . at the gym , saw the camp instructors . so many of them . then , my group instructor was jacinda but call her jac . her face sweet . when we reached the campsite , saw another school there . they stare at us like one kind . have no idea what school was that . put our freaking heavy bags at out hut and went to the canteen . the teachers , instructors and chief lange talked to us about some rules and welcomed us . we also had some ice breaking game to get to know each other better . my group name was lhotse . some mountain name given by the teacher . got another instructor with us too , roman patrick . he damn funny . we ate lunch and the food was okay . actually , all the meals for everyday was okay except for the milo . fatin forgot to bring her plate . she borrowed from swee tian . some w.i.t.c.h plate . mine was "the incredibles" . baby jack very cute , make me have the appetite to it . okay ... i am so lame . still bringing cartoon plates but it's okay what . i am still 14years old . my friends also bring snoopy plate . after eating , washed my utensils . so dirty and smelly my plate when i dipped it into the basin full of soap . i think it is because too many people used the basin then became so dirty and smelly . like very oily . i used wet tissue and cleaned my plate . soon , we listened to a briefing on safety helmets and gears for high elements . the most shocking thing i heard was that everyone has to take part in the high element . i went down the abseil tower . i cried and was the first one to go down the abseil towel . got one guy talked to me . he said " fas , don't cry . i am here . look at me . you can do it " . i stopped crying but when i went down , leg started shivering and i cried again . my face did'nt maintain . look like shit . he told me to calm down when going down the abseil tower . but i did got down the abseil tower safely . mr sharizan still can take my picture when i am crying . not glamarous ! i went to the zipline tower but i did'nt have the chance to try because did'nt have enough time . saw one of the twins screaming " aiyaya ! " damn funny man her reaction . soon , went to the challenge ropes course . i did'nt even want to try it . lucky , it rained . me , shafiqah , fatin , phoonam and mr sharizan ( extra ) shared one canvas . suddenly , i felt something on my arm wrigling . i looked it was an insect .

me : eeee ! what's on my hand ? insect !!!
fatin : no luh . grass luh !
me : your head uh , it's moving . it's an insect . grass where can move ?
shafiqah and fatin : ( looked ) kill it !
me : ( screamed )
everyone : ( screamed non-stop )
mr sharizan : eyh stop screaming luh . ( laughing )
me : shafiqah , get that thing off me !
shafiqah : ( slap my arm )
everyone : ( silence )

damn gross man ! it was green colour and it was wrigling . then , reached the mph . played ice-breaking games like chain . my body was pain as i must stretch alot . got someone so extra and so annoying make me fed-up . when the rain stopped , we get to shower . but , the toilet not enough water . i was in the cubical with shafiqah . for your information , i am NOT a lesbian just because i showered with a girl . i don't care if i see any of her private parts . she saw mine too . like so ? damn panicked when there was no water when i wanted to rinse off the shampoo and soap . only abit of water came out . actually , there was some problem . fortunately , water came out in time and chief lange gave us more time . we ate and went for some sing-along prepartion at the mph . the instructors there so funny and cute . got one of them look like gay . he dance like one . afterwards , went to eat for dinner , supper and showered . for supper we ate epok-epok . the potato dropped on my camp book and there was stain , smell and the teacher is going to mark it . so whatever . it was an accident . i expected my camp book to be clean . around 11pm + , we went to sleep . before sleeping , we got scoldings as we can't keep quiet at night and was supposed to sleep . me and fatin went to the toilet and saw fafa and eyva in their hut . fafa warned us not to get caught but we were allowed to go toilet so not a problem . 2nd day of camp , me and fatin woke up early in the morning . someone's alarm clock rang . damn irritating . straight away went to shower . before that , we saw the camp instructors sleeping under our hut . me and fatin was shocked . we thought dead body . in the toilet, there was a bird . got shocked again . luckily , it went out . then , reported to the canteen for breakfast after we showered . our class was the first one to reached because the teacher told us to be the first group to reach the canteen . after breakfast , we supposed to have water rafting but it rained . almost everyone in the class was emo-ing . instead of that , we went to do our camp preparation . not so organized and it was last minute work . afterwards we went to the challenge rope course . i can't escape and have to climb because we show attitude problem as we did'nt get the chance to try water rafting . i was damn blur when going up the challenge ropes course . i did'nt know what to say to the instructor because i did'nt really pay attention during the briefing . we supposed to say " am i on belay ? ... " i forgot again what to say . then , when i went up , i was scared until i did'nt knew which one was my left and right side . the another instructor asked me to pull the rope to the right . instead , i pushed it to the left side . when i reached the top , my leg started to shiver and i was looking down . when i was trying to balance myself , i fell and i flew . my friends from below was laughing at me . embarrassing ! karleen said i looked like a flag coming down . rest for awhile and played with rocks . actually , we were not allowed to pick up the rocks . however , i am too stubborn to listen and the instructor caught me putting it on shafiqah's boobs . he laughed and asked me to put it down . another friend of mine with the name of shafiqa , threw rocks at mr sharizan . fucking laughed . suddenly , shafiqah got fever . she must go to the sick bay and soon , she went home . my group went to the low elements place and we had to try some facilties there like involves teamwork . i find it easy . someone extra hold my hand and i hate that fucker . soon , we went to shower and went for dinner . soon , campfire was starting . it was damn awesome . my group sang 2 songs ; fireflies and campfire song . we came out with some dance steps . so cute ! look like the bad romance by lady gaga dance . after campfire , we ate supper again . i ate some cake . most yummy thing i had in the camp . ate like many times . me , lily and shafiqa shared the cake . then , slept after shower . i woke up around 5am . so early because need to pack my bag . all my things were all over the place and i am very not organized person . so , i anyhow pack my stuffs . then , my shoe was so dirty and i have to bare with it . last meal , we ate nasi lemak . so full my stomach . my group must clean the toilet . luckily , we did'nt have to clean the toilet that has a pile of shit on the floor . damn gross when i saw it . very watery and brown mix yellow . okay i think i shoul'dnt describe anymore about it . my group was so disgusted when we saw the toilet that we have to clean . got alot of sand and hair . then , the rubbish we muxt pick it up with our bare hands . then , some of them must clear the rubbish bin . got sanitary pad drop on the floor . it was very euw ! after that , roman so disgusted when i hit the water to his leg . damn cute his face . then , he say the brush is not an electric guitar because i kind of did'nt handle it properly . then , slack for awhile .

roman : eyh , you .
me : who ? me arh ?
roman : ya luh .
me : what ?
roman : help me fill up the water 1/3 .
me : okay . ( carried it and went to fill the pail with water until 1/2 )
roman : ( came and looked at me )
me : ( looking so blur ) what ? you say fill water right ?
roman : you very cute lehh . i asked you fill 1/3 only luhh . you so strong meh can carry the pail ?
me : yeah . by the way , you also never say must fill the pail until 1/3 .
roman : ( carry the pail ) got lorh .

i was like really ? haha . then , i helped out so much that roman asked me to rest again . almost slept . freaking tired and i just realized that i have eye bags . i could be the sibling of a panda one day . afterwards , we wrote our reflections and got prize presentation . my group like did'nt win for the campfire . then , got some survey but before that , the chief lange declare that it was time to end the camp . i cried because i am going to miss camping and the camp instructors . rahel was like keep on asking me why i crying and she disturbed me . i lied to her say that my eye watery . damn fake . asked jac and roman to sign on my camp t-shirt and used rahel's gold marker .

me : eyh , roman , help me sign on my camp shirt .
roman : ok , write what ?
me : write your name .
roman : ok , i write your name .
me : oi , not write my name . write your name .
roman : ya luh . write your name .
me : eyh , write roman .
roman : ok . i write eyh roman .
me : oi oi .
roman : ( he really wrote -A ROMAN- ) why her pen like got algae ? very hard to write .

like whatever . he is joker and i got his attitude on my t-shirt . then , took the bus and reached school . the camp instructors followed us . happy and sad moments because last day of us spending time together . then , the malay instructors kept looking at me like what the hell . before i went home , gave my friends hugs and smiled at the instructors . they also smiled at me . haha ! i will always remember them . then , my mama fetched me and took bus 119 to go home . last day to see those crazy and lovable instructors .

"camp looks like this and that is the abseil tower . scary right ?!"

school life

2010-01-08T18:46:00.000+08:00

school has already started . first day of school , i was almost late because of traffic jam and it was raining heavily . suffered . reached school and first thing that happened was that i panicked as i don't know where is my class like i am some sort of blur gong . then , i saw mr sharizan and asked him which class i belonged to . he said secondary 2 benevolence 2 and he is my form teacher . my friends thought i was the only one going to sec 2b2 . all like so sad . they have'nt check the class with mr sharizan and he did'nt even bother to tell them the class they supposed to be going . good thing i panicked . haha . sat with lily and shafiqa . the class got lesser students compared to last year . saw the new sec one's . juniors came to sjc and anjuli transferred . yay ! afterwards , went to our teacher's homeroom at the 4th floor . tired walking up the stairs . when we reached homeroom , only less than 20 people in the homeroom . there is supposed to be many of us . a few mintues later , the other half of the class came . yay , my best friends is in my class ! so happy . mr sharizan talk until can sleep until recess . saw the new sec one's . my juniors very hard to recognize . some reborn hair and grew taller . then , school ends 2pm . me and my friends went to compass point for awhile . did'nt spent much time there and went home around 3.30pm .

HAPPY NEW YEAR !

2010-01-01T01:02:00.012+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR to my loved ones . hope you will all have an awesome year {2010} ahead . it has been such a wonderful year 2009 . although i got into trouble and stuffs , i would like to thank those who had got me out from trouble and giving me support . those great people out there who had made me happy and comfort me when i felt hopeless , i would want to thank you too . without those cheer ups , lend of shoulder and freaking funny jokes , i would not be smiling again . i would also want to thank those that spend time with me and make me enjoy my life . but for those that put me into trouble , betrayed me , dumped me , bitched about me and treated me bad , hate you man . fuck you like hell . because of you freaks , you ruined my happy life . but whatever ... that's just a fact . i have been happy and sad . i just want to lead a happy life and not some stupid tortured life . clear enough ? anyways , i love my mama , family , friends , teachers , cousellor and someone special . you really took good care of me and loved me . thank you so much for being there for me . i will try to be a really good girl and try to focus more in life .

"HAPPY NEW YEAR to my people!"

singapore idol madness !

2009-12-27T23:33:00.012+08:00

today , i watched SINGAPORE IDOL with my family on television . and we are waiting for the results ... at last , the results came out . sezairi won ! hmm ... who should win ? sezairi or sylvia ? both are good looking and both can sing . but no matter what happens , both still got into the finals and got to perform on stage . but the best part is taufiq batisah damn hot . he can dance and sing . so hot ! im addicted to him . haha ! i like his song, addicted . make me want to get closer to him . eeeuw ! im so freaking gross . so many talented singers on the stage . anyways , me want to watch ghost movie , the death curse . some chinese movie on channel 8 . byebye ! i will still support both of them , sezairi and sylvia . they are great singers with amazing voice .

"OUR NEW SINGAPORE IDOL IS SEZAIRI SEZALI"

bedok view secondary school

2009-12-19T16:42:00.001+08:00

yesterday , went to bedok view secondary school . i went to follow ross to take her results .. bvss students damn hot . their school the students can dye hair . i want to dye my hair red . jealous ! haha . ross got into ITE . she pass many subjects . but kind of sad , the pupils there must graduate . confirm they will miss each other . i also miss them . they very enthusiastic when they got back their results . some that fail , also don't care . haha . berwin so funny . he like don't bother but still got into ITE . then , kaiyin like so freaking sad . she never talk . ross like talking to the wall . maybe kaiyin failed . soon , ross sent me to the mrt station . i wanted to go woodlands to meet up with fatin . i took the train , so slow . it felt like im not going to reach woodlands . almost fell asleep . then , battery low like annoying . dammit ! my phone is almost 3years old . dying soon . at last , reached woodlands . gave fatin something that i bought from kuala lumpur . she liked it but should get for her purple instead . then , she followed me to eat at banquet . ate fish and chips and shared it with fatin . afterwards , we walked around causeway point . also , went to take pictures near the lift area . got this guy , he coughed so loud at the escalator . i turned and looked at him . he smiled and i smiled back . suddenly , me , fatin and him laughed . so funny ! then , got two dwarfs want to flirt with us . so damn idiot ! then , got mat rep also flirt with us . me and fatin just kept quiet and acted we did'nt hear anything . i just sent fatin to the bus interchange . after that , i took 161 and headed home . reached home , i slept . haha ! so tired .

on holiday

2009-12-14T15:09:00.007+08:00

i just came back from KUALA LUMPUR . i really enjoyed myself from 11-13 December 2009 . however , i had to wake up early in the morning and get ready to take the bus to kuala lumpur with my family . the whole bus was conquered by my family . there were like more than 20 of my family members . in the bus , we can watch movies . so that means i was not bored . when we reached the immigration at malaysia , i forgot to fill up my departure card . so many people was behind me and they had to wait . embarassing . it's like im a blur gong . afterwards , we took the bus and had a safe trip . in the bus , we had a surprise . my aunty and uncle made for the family something . everyone got a towel and our nickname on it based on our characteristics . mine was "miss fassy" because my name is fasihah but fassy means fussy . it's true that i am fussy . we also had a lucky draw . my number was 13 and my actual gift was a handphone strap but i exchanged it with my aunty . so i got a bracelet instead . soon , we reached the hotel nobel . it was quite comfortable but not that classy . somehow , it was clean . we left our stuffs in the hotel and went out for dinner at some nearby shop . it was stuffy but there was air-con . suddenly , i cannot breathe and my family members said my face was red . so , i told my mama that i cannot breathe that well . everyone panicked but i was alright . just lost my breath only . mama brought me outside to take in fresh air . then , when back into the shop to eat . the food is quite yummy but spicy . soon , we went shopping and went back to hotel again to sleep . next day , we woke up early in the morning again . i took a bathe and the water is so cold . i was freezing . soon , we went upstairs to eat our breakfast . i ate baked beans , sausages and toasts . so yummy ! after we ate , we went out to do some shopping . my family really did shopping spree . we bought so many things until we had to buy another luggage to fill our stuffs beacuse there were so many things . then , it was already dark . we had our last dinner at kuala lumpur . malaysia have very nice foods there . i ate alot and maybe putting on weight . i gave my abang mamat his birthday present beacuse i owe him one . for my birthday , he treated me . my movie ticket and food . i bought for him a t-shirt . hope he love it . don't know what to buy for him . then , we board the bus to go back to singapore . i miss malaysia alot . the people there are nice but the guys there abit flirty . haha . food there are so freaking sedaaap ! reached singapore around 4am . so tired but really had fun !

girlfriends , aqul

2009-12-09T17:44:00.009+08:00

yersterday , went out with my friends . i met up with fatin , my girl at hougang . then , went to e-hub to meet shafiqah , ahtiqha and hidayati . we went to watch New Moon . taylor lautner and robert pattinson are so hot . *blushing* the end part is edward asked bella for marriage . i so impatient . must wait for another twilight movie . zzz . so addicted to that movie . afterwards , went to eat at macdonalds because so damn hungry . after we ate , walked around downtown east and e-hub and went to walked to white sands mall . me , fatin and hidayati went to zone-x to play some games there . play basketball like shit . stage one excellent but stage two like can die . game over ! play car racing too . fucking lose . got last and second last . actually , i was very pissed off . after we went to arcade , me and fatin sent hidayati to her bustop . then , went to compass point to meet up with aqul . walked around compass point for awhile and sent fatin to her bustop . anyways , i supposed to reach home around 6.30pm but i went home late . i spend time with aqul for awhile . then , he sent me home . we walked home .and took bus near punggol park . he did'nt want me to go home . haha . but in the end , he let me go . aqul quite cool and sweet . he hug me and also hold my hand but me and him not in a relationship . haha .

that day with kak erra/emily

2009-12-02T10:31:00.002+08:00

yesterday, i went out. i was suffering from boredom at home. then, i went to bought some things at kovan. when i am going home, i saw kak erra. we went to hougang mall because she wanted to interview for a job. she became a waitress at a restaurant. her boss is kind of funny but he might be fierce too. it is good that kak erra is hardworking. however, i am the opposite of her. let's put it this way. i am very lazy. hardly do work. soon, we went to fruit box as i wanted to buy orange juice. that orange juice was so cooling but sour. i was damn thirsty and the weather is so hot. then, went around hougang mall as kak erra wanted to look for a pair of shoes at madaboutshoes (M.A.D). she bought blue shoes that cost like $39.90 i guess . trendy and high-heeled. afterwards, went to eat long john silver. kak erra shared her food with me. she is very kind. i did'nt felt hungry already. at around 4pm, i went home. needed to settle some stuffs at home.

"that day with kak erra/emily at hougang"

broken-hearted girl

2009-11-15T22:31:00.004+08:00

i used to believe in love but now that my heart is broken , it seem i can't believe in it any longer . let's put it this way ... broke up with my boyfriend on july . my heart was taken by him and broken by him . now , i am scared and hurt because the memory is still in my head . it is impossible to forget about him and what we were once were ; good friends & couple . now , we are like enemies . i hate him and he hates me too . he have been lying to me and he is also too much for being a betrayer . he really did broke my heart . he did tell me his secrets too like he hated this girl & said the girl is obsessed with him . kind of true . however , he had a relationship with her . he is such a pain in the ass . i don't understand him and i just got the feeling he does'nt understand himself . maybe he is just making use of her . it is very obvious . i wish i could help him out but he backstabs me on the back many times . he told me to forget about him and not to contact him , trying to forget . he is insane . it is freaking hard to forget someone you used to love . i can bet you that he still has'nt forget about me yet . everytime we coincidentally met each other , he looks at me and give me that idiot look . he does'nt think when he talks . no wonder he sounds stupid and mad . it sounds good because i have stopped messaging and calling him . sometimes , he needs the attention . but now , he have too much of the fucking attention . he kind of stand out . he acts he is some kind of hot stuff , eeew ... it's a freaking misery . i thank him for the pain , guilt , regrets and the abuse , i love him no more . dammit ! i don't mind fucking off from his life . im happy with it & i hope he is happy too . this is he wish & it is granted . i don't want him to get back to me anymore if he is ditched by that girlfriend of his . it's alright , im okay . i don't need him anymore . he does'nt love & care for me . so , why should i bother ? he is better off without me like he said he cannot survive if im still in his life . im being nice so he won't suffer .

"you had me at hello , you killed me at goodbye"